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11/26/24
Hey world. My instagram app is for real broken and it’s driving me CRAZY. is it OCD or dopamine addiction? is it psychosematic? is everything? i mean really, interdimensional travel is probably “psychosematic” as well, no? i used to imagine i would be institutionalized because i would live so much in my own head eventually but i’ve gotten farther from that now than ever. i LOVE being plugged in. music tv internet baby. the trifecta! “dopehead” origin is dopamine addict. “spam” origin is monty python skit. jack harlow song origin is U DON’T HAVE TO CALL. pharrell is the root of a lot of popular music. what is this world if our architects are disgusting? it depends on who you ask. i think we are being called back to nature in a way, and community in another way. people have struggled to figure this out for a while, others assume it will eventually be forced by natural disaster. WE SHALL SEE. the only real truth is the one you experience (maybe).
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11/18/24
Today I am here to empty out my brain. Limited time here but more time than usual. I want to make the most of it. But first I have to dump. There doesn’t seem to be anything up here, but maybe there is something up here. Maybe I am ready to work. I am back on my exercising kick. I realized that no amount of exercise makes up for poor nutrition, i recognize that excessive sugar probabbbly makes my stomach hurt sometimes as well as the OIL from WORK. If you only knew how hard it is to not eat one single fried item when you work in the company of a deep fryer all night... I hope I don’t work with the fryers tonight but it’s also fine if I do. I make lovely fried food and I enjoy making it. If the only thing I have to dump about is work I swear to g*d........
Oh yeah I’m thinking about getting another tattoo. I know it’s bad I need to stop... but my bday is coming up, do I not deserve a treat? Be serious. I want the treat.
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11/11/24
11:11 make a wish :) it’s fucking monday. I work with the youths tonight. First I get to work by myself for 2 hours which is always a luxury. Why don’t I just work for myself, doing photography and websites? I don’t know. I tried it. I got lazy. Going to a kitchen every day and cleaning it and cooking for strangers is part of my mental health routine. Riding my bike to the restaurant is definitely part of my mental health routine. And I’m making these websites again which is really, ultimately, the most healing activity for me. I’ve always loved websites. My first domain name was water-drop.net. I Think the second was viyela.nu or something? Just two of my many personas that never went anywhere, and that’s okay. Said land back on the air today. Always surprises me when someone is like wait... you don’t believe in hoarding wealth? NO dumbass I believe in saving the world! I really believe if I had the generational wealth to buy a half a million dollar house I would do something else with that money, but the truth is I will never know. How else can I prove myself? Full moon in Taurus approaching. My digital diary is different from the diary I write in, maybe I will scan my sketchbook soon to put on here. Lots of good sketches in there and charms on the external of the diary as well. Diaries of all kinds have always appealed to me.
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11/10/24
It’s important for me to do cute sh*t because I never felt girly enough to do it when I was younger. I see my daughter so comfortable in her feminine identity and I love that for her. Her spirit is so precious. She belongs at Claire’s more than I ever did, going there with her feels like being with a cool, natural, popular girl. I feel somewhat like an imposter but I’ve learned to fake it well. Capricorn rises again. Tomorrow I have the radio show and I do NOT have a playlist, and Damia will not be there, so I am not excited about it yet, but I know that it will be a good time. Today we watched a police body cam video titled “Entitled woman makes the situation worse” or whatever, but in the actual footage, the police totally escalated the situation. It was bad police work and hard to watch honestly. The woman’s friend or partner was telling the officer what he did wrong and he was totally correct. That’s actually the first time it’s been that blatant and still posted on youtube like it’s entertainment. I am interested in this type of content but I wouldn’t say entertained.
XO cass
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